Good bye old flame

I’ve been longing to write a letter such as this. I don’t want to be bitter all my life. I’ve missed out so many beautiful things every day, simply because I allowed myself to be enslaved by my own selfish concerns.

I am finally letting you go, not because I don’t love you no more, but I am letting myself be free from all the resentment, hatred and anger that I’ve kept in my heart for a relatively long time. The resentment I had in me has distanced me from the strength I used to have before you came into my life. It has weakened my faith and my self esteem. The pain I had when you left me has disheartened my soul, which led me in becoming so pathetic.

I can still choose to love you from a distance and not expect anything in return. But this can never give me enough room to grow. I believe that I can only find real peace and happiness if I accept what the reality is today.

You pushing me away everyday have consumed my thoughts and actions. The saddest part was—you never gave me enough room to change. In stead, you mocked and branded me. I made so many desperate attempts to get noticed and be closer to you, but in the end my efforts are still unrewarded, up to now. Yes, I ended up feeling so sorry for myself.

I remember this one time, you told me that there will be an instance in my life when I will say to myself that I regret texting you when Maila told me not to. For when that time happens, I will surely say to myself that I wish I never felt loved deeply by someone like you. You even said that no one will ever give me the same intensity that you’ve given me in the past. No one will ever understand me the way you did. I will not allow that day to happen. I will prove you wrong. I will be loved and respected by someone someday.