Why does the world stop when you suddenly find yourself in love with your best friend?
It is not unlikely to happen, actually. You got together not because fate did it but because both of you chose to. You know each other's darkest secrets. And even if both of you do, you still respect each other like you are with the most perfect person on earth. You accept each other's flaws, even if it means stretching your patience to extraordinary limits. You share each other's tears and dreams, even if it takes one whole night 'til dawn to finish it. You help each other at all times, even if it means running away from a ton of workload and an angry boss waiting for you in the office. You've both seen each other's best and worst.
You find complete comfort in each other's company. You laugh together at world's miseries…try the best cuisine in town…engage in movie marathon…take long drives…be with each other's friends…influence each other's personal decisions. In fact, you are together almost all the time that you have already forgotten your other friends' faces.
Then you wake up one day and realize that you are falling for your bestfriend.
And the bad part of the situation is, he does not court you. Yes, he gives you gifts. He drives for you. He dines you and wines you at his expenses. He cancels commitments to be with you as you wish. But no, he does not show even the slightest hint that he plans to court you.
Now your world just stopped working for you.
You are torn between two worlds: a. the status quo world, and b. the tell-him-all-now-and-hope-for-the-best world.
Option A promises nothing but high hopes that he will eventually fall for you. This is backed up by the fact that both of you are unattached, and no other promising relationships at hand. In the meantime, you will act like everything's the same as it used to be. But you risk burying yourself deeper in an unrequited love. And there's no hurt more painful than sitting next to someone whom you can't even hold hands with to let him feel how much your world becomes complete with him. Worse, you content yourself with temporary happiness when he is around, and you are not planning to change your world a bit. If it will change, then it will definitely be his call.
Option B, on the other hand, requires some bottles of beer, a bit of confidence and a lot of hopeful thoughts. That said, your drive for a promising romance must be what you believe are THE SIGNS of a promising romance--your deep friendship, high respect for each other, and your developing feelings for him. You must tell him bravely that your friendly love for him has evolved otherwise.
Option B offers two possibilities: first, that he shares the same feelings, discovering stars in your eyes the moment he looks at you again. And that is where you need a lot of hopeful thoughts. If this happens, well and good. The two of you will bloom into one perfect relationship founded on one perfect friendship. Then you will live happily ever after (okay, maybe not, but at least you two will be the happiest couple right that moment).
In the second possibility, you're in for the biggest misery. He will tell you that you're his best gal bud, and he will tell you everything for you not to feel bad and alone and frustrated. He will assure you that nothing changes, and that you will still be his best friend. After all, you've gone through a lot of comforting sessions that he wouldn't allow you to come home wretched and miserable.
But then of course everything changes! You will exactly feel bad and alone and frustrated. Because no matter what he tells you, the truth will still hurt…that you are ONLY his best gal bud, nothing more, nothing less. And after your confession, you may not be his best girl bud at all.
In moments like this, you wonder if things are a lot easier had you been in his place. A man can easily tell his best girl bud that she is no longer his bud but his ideal girl, and if she doesn't feel the same, he can win her heart by patiently courting her to prove that he deserves to be her ideal man.
For women, it's all a different course. And in this situation, it’s her dignity and their friendship that are at stake.
BUT…would you rather keep your friendship forever than take chances in something you are not sure to last? Or would you rather risk your friendship (with the hope that you will build a perfect love in a not-so-perfect world) than not know forever what might and could have been?
Think about it. Because I haven’t...yet.
--JB
It is not unlikely to happen, actually. You got together not because fate did it but because both of you chose to. You know each other's darkest secrets. And even if both of you do, you still respect each other like you are with the most perfect person on earth. You accept each other's flaws, even if it means stretching your patience to extraordinary limits. You share each other's tears and dreams, even if it takes one whole night 'til dawn to finish it. You help each other at all times, even if it means running away from a ton of workload and an angry boss waiting for you in the office. You've both seen each other's best and worst.
You find complete comfort in each other's company. You laugh together at world's miseries…try the best cuisine in town…engage in movie marathon…take long drives…be with each other's friends…influence each other's personal decisions. In fact, you are together almost all the time that you have already forgotten your other friends' faces.
Then you wake up one day and realize that you are falling for your bestfriend.
And the bad part of the situation is, he does not court you. Yes, he gives you gifts. He drives for you. He dines you and wines you at his expenses. He cancels commitments to be with you as you wish. But no, he does not show even the slightest hint that he plans to court you.
Now your world just stopped working for you.
You are torn between two worlds: a. the status quo world, and b. the tell-him-all-now-and-hope-for-the-best world.
Option A promises nothing but high hopes that he will eventually fall for you. This is backed up by the fact that both of you are unattached, and no other promising relationships at hand. In the meantime, you will act like everything's the same as it used to be. But you risk burying yourself deeper in an unrequited love. And there's no hurt more painful than sitting next to someone whom you can't even hold hands with to let him feel how much your world becomes complete with him. Worse, you content yourself with temporary happiness when he is around, and you are not planning to change your world a bit. If it will change, then it will definitely be his call.
Option B, on the other hand, requires some bottles of beer, a bit of confidence and a lot of hopeful thoughts. That said, your drive for a promising romance must be what you believe are THE SIGNS of a promising romance--your deep friendship, high respect for each other, and your developing feelings for him. You must tell him bravely that your friendly love for him has evolved otherwise.
Option B offers two possibilities: first, that he shares the same feelings, discovering stars in your eyes the moment he looks at you again. And that is where you need a lot of hopeful thoughts. If this happens, well and good. The two of you will bloom into one perfect relationship founded on one perfect friendship. Then you will live happily ever after (okay, maybe not, but at least you two will be the happiest couple right that moment).
In the second possibility, you're in for the biggest misery. He will tell you that you're his best gal bud, and he will tell you everything for you not to feel bad and alone and frustrated. He will assure you that nothing changes, and that you will still be his best friend. After all, you've gone through a lot of comforting sessions that he wouldn't allow you to come home wretched and miserable.
But then of course everything changes! You will exactly feel bad and alone and frustrated. Because no matter what he tells you, the truth will still hurt…that you are ONLY his best gal bud, nothing more, nothing less. And after your confession, you may not be his best girl bud at all.
In moments like this, you wonder if things are a lot easier had you been in his place. A man can easily tell his best girl bud that she is no longer his bud but his ideal girl, and if she doesn't feel the same, he can win her heart by patiently courting her to prove that he deserves to be her ideal man.
For women, it's all a different course. And in this situation, it’s her dignity and their friendship that are at stake.
BUT…would you rather keep your friendship forever than take chances in something you are not sure to last? Or would you rather risk your friendship (with the hope that you will build a perfect love in a not-so-perfect world) than not know forever what might and could have been?
Think about it. Because I haven’t...yet.
--JB
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home